(i wrote this 4 days ago in an email)
i just wanted to say that i made it back to the states about 5 hours
ago. i know you probably forgot, seeing that i havent been able to
email in what seems like years, but i was just in africa the past 4
months.
and i can honestly say that i had an amazing experience! thank you so
much for the prayers and the emails and all the thoughts over the past
few months.
i think i've felt about everything during this time:
shock, sadness, pain, joy, helplessness, hope, fear, faith. there were
tears of mourning and tears of happiness. there were moments that will
eternally be ingrained in my mind, and others that i've tried to
forget.
i saw racism at its worst and love at its best. i saw the deception of
wealth and the hardships of poverty. i laughed and cried and tried my
best to show the relentless love of christ to all i saw. i grew up a
lot, but i became more like a child. i spoke in front of hundreds and
i
spoke to the one sitting homeless on the street corner. i tried my
best
to be strong, but then i realized that God is made strong in my
weakness. i shook hands with the wealthy, and i shook hands with the
poor. i shook hands with criminals (in prison) and i shook the tiny
hands of children victimized by AIDS. and all this shook my heart.
i learned that i have been blessed to be a blessing.
and if you are receiving this email, you have been a blessing to me and
therefore, you have been a blessing through me to thousands of others
in
southern africa.
thank you again for the love and prayers. i can't wait to share more
in
the upcoming weeks and hopefully send out a newsletter.
if you have any questions, please feel free to email me and i would
love
to call or email back.
as for now, jet lag is starting to hit me pretty hard, so i'm gonna go
hit the bed.
grace and love,
kyle
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
lots of thoughts and little time to write
one thing that kinda stinks about traveling is not being able to keep in touch with friends and fam as much as one would like. this is the case for me. i've got tons of stuff i wish i could share but i can't share it all in the 15 minutes i get in this internet cafe.
so, if i could sum everything up in one sentence, it would sound something like this: everything is going quite well in south africa, including our ministry in the schools, our work with the local churches, our worldview which has been shocked many times, our catching of sheep the other day on a sheepfarm (and it's true that they don't make noise before the shearer), and our personal, spiritual and emotional growth.
i know that sounds very impersonal, but hopefully i will get to share more stories at a later time.
but seriously, thank you so much for the prayers. they are having an effect here in south africa. i had a chance to speak in front of the worst (discipline wise) high schools in a town we were in. they came in the building so noisy and crazy, but when our team took the stage, it was like silence fell, and as i spoke, i could see it in there eyes, that were taking my words to heart. they were singing the lord's prayers to open up the assembly, but that's what most schools do here, sing a christian song but really have nothing to do with jesus the rest of the day. and so it's just like a religion for the kids. this is a school where drugs are sold everyday on campus and where alcohol is rampant. i told them that i heard them singing about a father in heaven, but i asked them if they really knew this father in heaven that created them. i told them how they were created for a purpose and that they don't have to give in to peer pressure to prove anything, but that their true value will be found in being a child of God. i told them how God had changed my life and how he is waiting for them as well, how he is not a God that is far off, but a God that is near to us, waiting for us.
the room was silent. i could tell the kids had taken the message to heart. afterwards, we distributed the books of hope that have the life story of jesus inside, as well as other articles on true love, family, peer pressure, sex, drugs, etc. the great thing is that now that we have partnered with the local church that town (beuford west) and trained them in what we do, the work will continue in that town, as the church follows up in each school to do follow-up, counseling, and discipleship. we worked with an amazing guy named andre who has a heart for the kids in beauford west and who already has a team in place to continue working in the schools there. it was great to be a part of what God was doing there in that town.
thank you so much for the prayers and love and support and thoughts and emails. i'll be home in about 3 weeks!
kyle
so, if i could sum everything up in one sentence, it would sound something like this: everything is going quite well in south africa, including our ministry in the schools, our work with the local churches, our worldview which has been shocked many times, our catching of sheep the other day on a sheepfarm (and it's true that they don't make noise before the shearer), and our personal, spiritual and emotional growth.
i know that sounds very impersonal, but hopefully i will get to share more stories at a later time.
but seriously, thank you so much for the prayers. they are having an effect here in south africa. i had a chance to speak in front of the worst (discipline wise) high schools in a town we were in. they came in the building so noisy and crazy, but when our team took the stage, it was like silence fell, and as i spoke, i could see it in there eyes, that were taking my words to heart. they were singing the lord's prayers to open up the assembly, but that's what most schools do here, sing a christian song but really have nothing to do with jesus the rest of the day. and so it's just like a religion for the kids. this is a school where drugs are sold everyday on campus and where alcohol is rampant. i told them that i heard them singing about a father in heaven, but i asked them if they really knew this father in heaven that created them. i told them how they were created for a purpose and that they don't have to give in to peer pressure to prove anything, but that their true value will be found in being a child of God. i told them how God had changed my life and how he is waiting for them as well, how he is not a God that is far off, but a God that is near to us, waiting for us.
the room was silent. i could tell the kids had taken the message to heart. afterwards, we distributed the books of hope that have the life story of jesus inside, as well as other articles on true love, family, peer pressure, sex, drugs, etc. the great thing is that now that we have partnered with the local church that town (beuford west) and trained them in what we do, the work will continue in that town, as the church follows up in each school to do follow-up, counseling, and discipleship. we worked with an amazing guy named andre who has a heart for the kids in beauford west and who already has a team in place to continue working in the schools there. it was great to be a part of what God was doing there in that town.
thank you so much for the prayers and love and support and thoughts and emails. i'll be home in about 3 weeks!
kyle
Saturday, April 7, 2007
the kids here in south africa have a random 3 week holiday (instead of summer they have a few short holidays throughout the year) and so we have been doing some new things for the past two weeks so far. the first week we were able to work at an orphanage where we helped to build some bunk beds for the kids and helped repair part of their playground. more importantly, we got to be with the kids. the stories of some of these kids makes you want to cry, and i did sometimes. there are about 25 orphans and many of them are HIV positive. it's so sad to hear the stories, but once you start to play with the kids, you soon forget about your past and their past, and all that matters is how high you can throw them or how many of them you can hold at one time. i got to hang out with anna a lot. she is seven years old. she was raped and mistreated as a child and now has HIV. one of the things that is very prevalent here in south africa is child rape because many people think that they will be cured of HIV if they sleep with a virgin, and what easier way to do that than to rape a child. it's horrendous. i had heard about this type of behavior but it didnt really register until i held anna in my arms and looked at her in the eyes and realized what had been done to her. as i heard the story of her past and watched her play, i couldn't help but get tears in my eyes. the tears were soon washed away with joy, though, as we ran and laughed and played and got tired. i'm excited to get to go back there this coming week and see how all my new friends are doing. there is not a shortage of kids in this world, but there is a huge shortage of love and care and acceptance that all kids need to grow and mature and stay healthy. i'm so thankful for people who have given there lives to take care of so many kids in orphanages and foster homes. there's still a need for so many more, though.
another things we've been able to do is help out with the organization of a Book of Hope warehouse. it was lots of hard work, but a good change for us. it was good to sweat a little and use our hands. we also helped with the loading and unloading of a shipment of clothes and food and other household items to be sent out into some of the villages.
this week, we've had a little time to relax and gear up for the next part of our trip. we met up with the other team that's here in south africa and had some great time hanging out with them. they left for swaziland yesterday, and we're leaving to go back to the orphanage tomorrow. we also had to learn how to conduct research while we're hear, which is something we might have to do. basically, it's kinda boring, but something that has to be done. in order to be most effective with Book of Hope, it's important to research different areas to see what the major issues are and also to see what kind of impact the ministry is having in a certain area.
so anyway, that's pretty much what we've been doing the last couple of weeks: manual labor, learning research skills, regrouping for the next part of the trip.
i'm learning a lot about the world and about myself and hopefully about God, and in light of easter, here's the random thoughts that are going through my head:
even though today was the sabbath, i woke up early not feeling very much at rest. my mind was racing, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past. i cannot even imagine what the disciples of jesus were thinking on this day about 2,000 years ago. they had just witnessed the Hope of Israel, maybe even the world, being crucified to death. they had left their families, their jobs, and their futures to put their trust in a man who was now dead. what now?
as i read this story this morning, i tried to put myself in their shoes (or sandals). it's kinda hard for me to do since i already know the sunday surprise. but there had to have been such a feeling of confusion, and fear, and doubt on that sabbath 2,000 years ago. i can picture the disciples sitting in a room filed with a heavy silence, except for the occasional deep sigh or sudden outburst of anger or tears. what would that have been like? i guess most of us have felt like our dreams have been shattered and our hopes dashed at one time or another, but that must have been intensely confusing.
i get confused sometimes. i don't understand a lot of thing, and this morning, i woke up feeling like i understood nothing. but as i read the account in luke of the death, burial, and resurrection of jesus, i was reminded about why i live. i remembered that this is what my life is about. this story is my life. it's all i need. and then i realized how easy it is for me to get involved in details and forget the big picture, the very reason for life and breath. my worries and fears and questions are so small compared to what the disciples were feeling that sabbath day, and i even know the sunday surprise and what happens at the end of this entire story (rev. 5:9-10).
as i began to ponder how the surprise has been ruined for me, i realized that instead, i have been ruined by the Surprise. the resurrection is the only reason i live, the only reason i dream, the only reason I'm "waisting" my life here in africa or anywhere else i live. this story has taken over my life. it will never be the same again. it has been "ruined" for the sake of christ (matt. 10:39). my life is not my own and never will be again.
in luke 23:56, i noticed how in the face of devastation, pain, and confusion, the disciples were still obedient. they went home and rested on the sabbath out of obedience to the law. and really, i think that's all God wants. he knows we will be unsure, confused, worried, scared, and doubtful at times. but all he asks for is obedience (john 14:23).
i've met this guy named Kristian since i've been here in south africa and have had the chance to talk to him a few times about his life and why he's here. he's from america but has felt the call of God to come to south africa. only a year ago, he was sitting in a crackhouse destroying his life with drugs. but soon after the Lord got a hold of his life and delivered him from all the junk he was in. i dont know if i've ever met anyone with such an unashamed joy of the lord as kristian has. i can see jesus on his face.
the other night as i talked with kristian, i learned a little more about him. i knew that he had been delivered from drugs, but i wasn't sure how or why he was here (he's a 40 year old, very successful, single american; he changed his name when he got saved a year ago). he told me (with reluctance and humility; i had to pry everything out of him; in other words, he wasnt boasting in what he had done) how he had come to africa, gone out to the squatter camps (very poor, temporary/makeshift villages), and felt the Lord calling him to live there. so he went home excited, only to find opposition to this decision. people were telling him that it was dumb or that he should think about it more. one of his close christian mentors, though, told him that it all came down to obedience. so with a little more prayer and confirmation from God, his decision was made. he sold all that he had (he's not poor either), and came back to africa in faith (this was only a few weeks ago).
many will say, that's too risky or foolish (I Cor. 1:28-29). but as kristian told me, it all comes down to obedience. his life has been ruined, lost, waisted, so that christ my live through him.
asi meditate on the story of jesus, i realize that he was obedient as well, even to the point of death (phil.2:8). just like my friend kristian, he gave up all he had and became poor (2 cor. 8:9) for our sake. i once read in a book, "people don't get crucified for helping the poor, but for joining the poor." both kristian and jesus know what it feels like to be rejected and mocked, having given up their former lives. jesus did it for kristian, and now kristian gets to do it for jesus. jesus did it for me, too, and anyone else who has labored through this much of the blog.
so, i'm not advocating the selling of all our possessions, though it certainly wouldn't be a bad thing. but i am hoping that all of us who are following christ will commit to obedience no matter how fooish it seems. jesus leaving his throne in heaven for a person like me seems pretty foolish to me.
may we not take lightly the sunday surprise that's already been ruined for us, but may we rather be ruined by the Surprise. happy easter!
and thanks for the love and prayers!
kyle
p.s. disclaimer: the reason i write personal stories and thought is in hopes that some might understand more deeply what i am going through. i suppose i could simply update on how many schools we've been to, how many books of hope we've handed out, how many churches we've ministered in, but i feel like stories hit home where statistics don't. i'd heard of the AIDS stats before i got here, but until i held anna in my arms, the girl who was brutally raped and mistreat, i did not understand. statistics, philosophy, and theology do not move my heart. stories do. i thik that's why jesus always told them. so, my apologies if you're more of a numbers person. i'll try better if i need to.
there's some photos of our team on this site:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/westwithjesus/
another things we've been able to do is help out with the organization of a Book of Hope warehouse. it was lots of hard work, but a good change for us. it was good to sweat a little and use our hands. we also helped with the loading and unloading of a shipment of clothes and food and other household items to be sent out into some of the villages.
this week, we've had a little time to relax and gear up for the next part of our trip. we met up with the other team that's here in south africa and had some great time hanging out with them. they left for swaziland yesterday, and we're leaving to go back to the orphanage tomorrow. we also had to learn how to conduct research while we're hear, which is something we might have to do. basically, it's kinda boring, but something that has to be done. in order to be most effective with Book of Hope, it's important to research different areas to see what the major issues are and also to see what kind of impact the ministry is having in a certain area.
so anyway, that's pretty much what we've been doing the last couple of weeks: manual labor, learning research skills, regrouping for the next part of the trip.
i'm learning a lot about the world and about myself and hopefully about God, and in light of easter, here's the random thoughts that are going through my head:
even though today was the sabbath, i woke up early not feeling very much at rest. my mind was racing, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past. i cannot even imagine what the disciples of jesus were thinking on this day about 2,000 years ago. they had just witnessed the Hope of Israel, maybe even the world, being crucified to death. they had left their families, their jobs, and their futures to put their trust in a man who was now dead. what now?
as i read this story this morning, i tried to put myself in their shoes (or sandals). it's kinda hard for me to do since i already know the sunday surprise. but there had to have been such a feeling of confusion, and fear, and doubt on that sabbath 2,000 years ago. i can picture the disciples sitting in a room filed with a heavy silence, except for the occasional deep sigh or sudden outburst of anger or tears. what would that have been like? i guess most of us have felt like our dreams have been shattered and our hopes dashed at one time or another, but that must have been intensely confusing.
i get confused sometimes. i don't understand a lot of thing, and this morning, i woke up feeling like i understood nothing. but as i read the account in luke of the death, burial, and resurrection of jesus, i was reminded about why i live. i remembered that this is what my life is about. this story is my life. it's all i need. and then i realized how easy it is for me to get involved in details and forget the big picture, the very reason for life and breath. my worries and fears and questions are so small compared to what the disciples were feeling that sabbath day, and i even know the sunday surprise and what happens at the end of this entire story (rev. 5:9-10).
as i began to ponder how the surprise has been ruined for me, i realized that instead, i have been ruined by the Surprise. the resurrection is the only reason i live, the only reason i dream, the only reason I'm "waisting" my life here in africa or anywhere else i live. this story has taken over my life. it will never be the same again. it has been "ruined" for the sake of christ (matt. 10:39). my life is not my own and never will be again.
in luke 23:56, i noticed how in the face of devastation, pain, and confusion, the disciples were still obedient. they went home and rested on the sabbath out of obedience to the law. and really, i think that's all God wants. he knows we will be unsure, confused, worried, scared, and doubtful at times. but all he asks for is obedience (john 14:23).
i've met this guy named Kristian since i've been here in south africa and have had the chance to talk to him a few times about his life and why he's here. he's from america but has felt the call of God to come to south africa. only a year ago, he was sitting in a crackhouse destroying his life with drugs. but soon after the Lord got a hold of his life and delivered him from all the junk he was in. i dont know if i've ever met anyone with such an unashamed joy of the lord as kristian has. i can see jesus on his face.
the other night as i talked with kristian, i learned a little more about him. i knew that he had been delivered from drugs, but i wasn't sure how or why he was here (he's a 40 year old, very successful, single american; he changed his name when he got saved a year ago). he told me (with reluctance and humility; i had to pry everything out of him; in other words, he wasnt boasting in what he had done) how he had come to africa, gone out to the squatter camps (very poor, temporary/makeshift villages), and felt the Lord calling him to live there. so he went home excited, only to find opposition to this decision. people were telling him that it was dumb or that he should think about it more. one of his close christian mentors, though, told him that it all came down to obedience. so with a little more prayer and confirmation from God, his decision was made. he sold all that he had (he's not poor either), and came back to africa in faith (this was only a few weeks ago).
many will say, that's too risky or foolish (I Cor. 1:28-29). but as kristian told me, it all comes down to obedience. his life has been ruined, lost, waisted, so that christ my live through him.
asi meditate on the story of jesus, i realize that he was obedient as well, even to the point of death (phil.2:8). just like my friend kristian, he gave up all he had and became poor (2 cor. 8:9) for our sake. i once read in a book, "people don't get crucified for helping the poor, but for joining the poor." both kristian and jesus know what it feels like to be rejected and mocked, having given up their former lives. jesus did it for kristian, and now kristian gets to do it for jesus. jesus did it for me, too, and anyone else who has labored through this much of the blog.
so, i'm not advocating the selling of all our possessions, though it certainly wouldn't be a bad thing. but i am hoping that all of us who are following christ will commit to obedience no matter how fooish it seems. jesus leaving his throne in heaven for a person like me seems pretty foolish to me.
may we not take lightly the sunday surprise that's already been ruined for us, but may we rather be ruined by the Surprise. happy easter!
and thanks for the love and prayers!
kyle
p.s. disclaimer: the reason i write personal stories and thought is in hopes that some might understand more deeply what i am going through. i suppose i could simply update on how many schools we've been to, how many books of hope we've handed out, how many churches we've ministered in, but i feel like stories hit home where statistics don't. i'd heard of the AIDS stats before i got here, but until i held anna in my arms, the girl who was brutally raped and mistreat, i did not understand. statistics, philosophy, and theology do not move my heart. stories do. i thik that's why jesus always told them. so, my apologies if you're more of a numbers person. i'll try better if i need to.
there's some photos of our team on this site:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/westwithjesus/
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