Adventures and Thoughts

yesterday, we arrived in livingstone, zambia to stay for a couple of days. we have a couple days off and so we all decided to head to victoria falls, one of the seven wonders of the world!! we slept on the floor of a church in francistown, botswana for the night and then headed here to zambia. crossing the border yesterday was a chore, which it usually is in africa. but this was crazy! to cross the border, we had to drive our trusty land rover up on a big barge and float to the other side. the thing is, in africa, there are no signs, no one looking the least bit official, and usually everyone trying to tell you what to do. so we drive up and realize that we have to cross this river. bystanders are yelling directions at us and we reluctantly drive up on the barge and hope that this is right. so we cruise over to the other side and drive off the barge into complete chaos. semi trucks were everywhere, vying for position to get on the barge and we got blocked into a corner more than once. finally we make it through the semis and then have to jump through a few hoops to make it through the zambia border. crossing the border in africa can be a challenge because the people can basically do what they want and you pretty much have to listen. for instance, if they dont like my shoes, they can fine me for it. or if i forget to say thank you, i have to move to the back of the line (i just made that up, but some things seem that outrageous. in fact this lady tried to ticket us for stopping 2 feet past a stop sign instead of right at the stop sign. they take bribes, too, which is something we won't do). so we finally made it and realized that we got a great deal, because the place we're staying at helps to wave the $100 visa we're supposed to pay to get into zambia. so we got in free! thanks God.
so this is a good couple days off to be refreshed, but i do miss working with the kids. i read don miller's Searching For God Knows What on the way here, and he said that we all have a deep longing to be loved and accepted and valued. i agree with that. it seems that we lost our true identity in the garden where we were naked and unashamed and ever since have been looking for others to validate us and give us worth. since then, it has been a competition of who is the best and most beautiful and most successful. so, the ugly are frowned upon. the sick are deemed worthless. and we play along like it was supposed to be that way. we look to others to tell us who we are. so we try to fit in and buy nice clothes and do note-worthy things to receive praise from people. the age-old lie: our stuff, looks, and accomplishments define us. Don also said that one of the best things a person can do is look someone in the eye and tell them that they are worth something. it made me feel good because that's exactly what we are doing everyday. i know that don miller's opinion shouldn't dictate what i do, but he is very right. life boils down to the question of: who am i? everyone asks themself that deep down, and we usually look to friends, family, and pop culture to give us the answer. but i'm realizing that this answer is only found in christ, not through a biblicial formula or 5 steps to receiving jesus, but through a deep relationship with christ. he created us to be in relationship with him. he is looking for an intimate, passionate relationship. the mysteries of God are far too deep for us to mentally ascribe to. paul said that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him - but God has revealed these things to us by his Spirit. the Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God and reveals them to us (my paraphrase). what the heck! what are the deep things of God?! that sounds scary. but paul also encouraged the ephesians to know a love that surpasses knowledge and prayed that the colossian believers would have a revelation of the knowledge of God. it appears to me that there is some knowledge going on here that doesn't refer to book knowledge, but rather a knowledge that come from relationship and encounter. and this is what our souls long for, an encounter with the uncreated God. biblical formulas and steps and doctrines might be good to an extent, but they are also a little weird because they try to define God. we cannot define God. he just is. sometimes i try to think about him for a few minutes and it hurts my mind. he's frightening. but he's also good and loving. john piper says that God would not be loving unless he upholds and displays and magnifies his glory for our everlasting enjoyment. he is the only reality that can fully satisfy the human heart. and that's it, i think. we were created to enjoy God, to glory in like paul said the depths and the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God. if we are bored with God, it's not because he is boring, but because we are boring. he is awe-inspiring. just ask the angels who sit around him and cant help but worship him continually.
wow, i just wrote a lot. i don't know why i wrote all that, but i suppose it's that human thing inside to have people validate me and like me and say, "great thoughts, way to go, we're proud of you". but whether anyone reads this or thinks these thought were good or not, i hope i can find my true identity in who God says that i am (but i still like it when you're proud of me, dad).
anyway, i had a great talk with this guy named Obed the other day. he took me buy the hand (cause that's what they do here and it's not considered gay even though it felt weird) and asked if i would walk with him. he expressed his gratitude for us being here and was amazed at our love for the kids. he mentioned that we were a Godsend and we inspired him in his life to go all out for God. people have told us that a lot here. one girl went as far to say that her life would never be the same, and she didnt laugh afterwards. she was serious. i dont understand. i guess it show that people are desperate for love and attention and passion. i dont feel like i'm doing anything incredible and i know that i'm not. but i have realized that a smile, a hug, or a meaningful conversation can change someone's life. i'm so grateful to God for allowing me to be here and experience the sights and sounds of africa. some of the sights are worthy of mourning. but some are worthy of laughter and joy and dancing. i dont take anything for granted. seeing the smiles in kids' faces, hearing their laughs at our presentations, watching their minds turn in deep thought at the notion that they are valued and loved by God is worth it all.
barbara's mom is a witchdoctor. her mom used to cast spells on her so she would do well in school. the product of this was massive headaches all the time. barbara heard the gospel through her window one night through an outdoor church meeting. she decided to give her life to jesus, and she did. when asked how she knew that jesus was the truth, barbara said that her headaches went away and never came back once she gave her life to christ. barbara's mom is still a witchdoctor, but barbara is a christ-follower. a few days ago, i watched as barbara told her testimony of what the lord had done in her life to 600 school kids. i watched as the kids listened intently, and then we got love on the kids and hand out the story of jesus and his love for them. their earthly fathers have most likely let them down, but their heavenly father will never let them down. the end.
kyle
p.s. i can't tell you how much the prayers and emails mean. thanks so much. God is opening up some crazy doors.