(i wrote this 4 days ago in an email)
i just wanted to say that i made it back to the states about 5 hours
ago. i know you probably forgot, seeing that i havent been able to
email in what seems like years, but i was just in africa the past 4
months.
and i can honestly say that i had an amazing experience! thank you so
much for the prayers and the emails and all the thoughts over the past
few months.
i think i've felt about everything during this time:
shock, sadness, pain, joy, helplessness, hope, fear, faith. there were
tears of mourning and tears of happiness. there were moments that will
eternally be ingrained in my mind, and others that i've tried to
forget.
i saw racism at its worst and love at its best. i saw the deception of
wealth and the hardships of poverty. i laughed and cried and tried my
best to show the relentless love of christ to all i saw. i grew up a
lot, but i became more like a child. i spoke in front of hundreds and
i
spoke to the one sitting homeless on the street corner. i tried my
best
to be strong, but then i realized that God is made strong in my
weakness. i shook hands with the wealthy, and i shook hands with the
poor. i shook hands with criminals (in prison) and i shook the tiny
hands of children victimized by AIDS. and all this shook my heart.
i learned that i have been blessed to be a blessing.
and if you are receiving this email, you have been a blessing to me and
therefore, you have been a blessing through me to thousands of others
in
southern africa.
thank you again for the love and prayers. i can't wait to share more
in
the upcoming weeks and hopefully send out a newsletter.
if you have any questions, please feel free to email me and i would
love
to call or email back.
as for now, jet lag is starting to hit me pretty hard, so i'm gonna go
hit the bed.
grace and love,
kyle
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
lots of thoughts and little time to write
one thing that kinda stinks about traveling is not being able to keep in touch with friends and fam as much as one would like. this is the case for me. i've got tons of stuff i wish i could share but i can't share it all in the 15 minutes i get in this internet cafe.
so, if i could sum everything up in one sentence, it would sound something like this: everything is going quite well in south africa, including our ministry in the schools, our work with the local churches, our worldview which has been shocked many times, our catching of sheep the other day on a sheepfarm (and it's true that they don't make noise before the shearer), and our personal, spiritual and emotional growth.
i know that sounds very impersonal, but hopefully i will get to share more stories at a later time.
but seriously, thank you so much for the prayers. they are having an effect here in south africa. i had a chance to speak in front of the worst (discipline wise) high schools in a town we were in. they came in the building so noisy and crazy, but when our team took the stage, it was like silence fell, and as i spoke, i could see it in there eyes, that were taking my words to heart. they were singing the lord's prayers to open up the assembly, but that's what most schools do here, sing a christian song but really have nothing to do with jesus the rest of the day. and so it's just like a religion for the kids. this is a school where drugs are sold everyday on campus and where alcohol is rampant. i told them that i heard them singing about a father in heaven, but i asked them if they really knew this father in heaven that created them. i told them how they were created for a purpose and that they don't have to give in to peer pressure to prove anything, but that their true value will be found in being a child of God. i told them how God had changed my life and how he is waiting for them as well, how he is not a God that is far off, but a God that is near to us, waiting for us.
the room was silent. i could tell the kids had taken the message to heart. afterwards, we distributed the books of hope that have the life story of jesus inside, as well as other articles on true love, family, peer pressure, sex, drugs, etc. the great thing is that now that we have partnered with the local church that town (beuford west) and trained them in what we do, the work will continue in that town, as the church follows up in each school to do follow-up, counseling, and discipleship. we worked with an amazing guy named andre who has a heart for the kids in beauford west and who already has a team in place to continue working in the schools there. it was great to be a part of what God was doing there in that town.
thank you so much for the prayers and love and support and thoughts and emails. i'll be home in about 3 weeks!
kyle
so, if i could sum everything up in one sentence, it would sound something like this: everything is going quite well in south africa, including our ministry in the schools, our work with the local churches, our worldview which has been shocked many times, our catching of sheep the other day on a sheepfarm (and it's true that they don't make noise before the shearer), and our personal, spiritual and emotional growth.
i know that sounds very impersonal, but hopefully i will get to share more stories at a later time.
but seriously, thank you so much for the prayers. they are having an effect here in south africa. i had a chance to speak in front of the worst (discipline wise) high schools in a town we were in. they came in the building so noisy and crazy, but when our team took the stage, it was like silence fell, and as i spoke, i could see it in there eyes, that were taking my words to heart. they were singing the lord's prayers to open up the assembly, but that's what most schools do here, sing a christian song but really have nothing to do with jesus the rest of the day. and so it's just like a religion for the kids. this is a school where drugs are sold everyday on campus and where alcohol is rampant. i told them that i heard them singing about a father in heaven, but i asked them if they really knew this father in heaven that created them. i told them how they were created for a purpose and that they don't have to give in to peer pressure to prove anything, but that their true value will be found in being a child of God. i told them how God had changed my life and how he is waiting for them as well, how he is not a God that is far off, but a God that is near to us, waiting for us.
the room was silent. i could tell the kids had taken the message to heart. afterwards, we distributed the books of hope that have the life story of jesus inside, as well as other articles on true love, family, peer pressure, sex, drugs, etc. the great thing is that now that we have partnered with the local church that town (beuford west) and trained them in what we do, the work will continue in that town, as the church follows up in each school to do follow-up, counseling, and discipleship. we worked with an amazing guy named andre who has a heart for the kids in beauford west and who already has a team in place to continue working in the schools there. it was great to be a part of what God was doing there in that town.
thank you so much for the prayers and love and support and thoughts and emails. i'll be home in about 3 weeks!
kyle
Saturday, April 7, 2007
the kids here in south africa have a random 3 week holiday (instead of summer they have a few short holidays throughout the year) and so we have been doing some new things for the past two weeks so far. the first week we were able to work at an orphanage where we helped to build some bunk beds for the kids and helped repair part of their playground. more importantly, we got to be with the kids. the stories of some of these kids makes you want to cry, and i did sometimes. there are about 25 orphans and many of them are HIV positive. it's so sad to hear the stories, but once you start to play with the kids, you soon forget about your past and their past, and all that matters is how high you can throw them or how many of them you can hold at one time. i got to hang out with anna a lot. she is seven years old. she was raped and mistreated as a child and now has HIV. one of the things that is very prevalent here in south africa is child rape because many people think that they will be cured of HIV if they sleep with a virgin, and what easier way to do that than to rape a child. it's horrendous. i had heard about this type of behavior but it didnt really register until i held anna in my arms and looked at her in the eyes and realized what had been done to her. as i heard the story of her past and watched her play, i couldn't help but get tears in my eyes. the tears were soon washed away with joy, though, as we ran and laughed and played and got tired. i'm excited to get to go back there this coming week and see how all my new friends are doing. there is not a shortage of kids in this world, but there is a huge shortage of love and care and acceptance that all kids need to grow and mature and stay healthy. i'm so thankful for people who have given there lives to take care of so many kids in orphanages and foster homes. there's still a need for so many more, though.
another things we've been able to do is help out with the organization of a Book of Hope warehouse. it was lots of hard work, but a good change for us. it was good to sweat a little and use our hands. we also helped with the loading and unloading of a shipment of clothes and food and other household items to be sent out into some of the villages.
this week, we've had a little time to relax and gear up for the next part of our trip. we met up with the other team that's here in south africa and had some great time hanging out with them. they left for swaziland yesterday, and we're leaving to go back to the orphanage tomorrow. we also had to learn how to conduct research while we're hear, which is something we might have to do. basically, it's kinda boring, but something that has to be done. in order to be most effective with Book of Hope, it's important to research different areas to see what the major issues are and also to see what kind of impact the ministry is having in a certain area.
so anyway, that's pretty much what we've been doing the last couple of weeks: manual labor, learning research skills, regrouping for the next part of the trip.
i'm learning a lot about the world and about myself and hopefully about God, and in light of easter, here's the random thoughts that are going through my head:
even though today was the sabbath, i woke up early not feeling very much at rest. my mind was racing, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past. i cannot even imagine what the disciples of jesus were thinking on this day about 2,000 years ago. they had just witnessed the Hope of Israel, maybe even the world, being crucified to death. they had left their families, their jobs, and their futures to put their trust in a man who was now dead. what now?
as i read this story this morning, i tried to put myself in their shoes (or sandals). it's kinda hard for me to do since i already know the sunday surprise. but there had to have been such a feeling of confusion, and fear, and doubt on that sabbath 2,000 years ago. i can picture the disciples sitting in a room filed with a heavy silence, except for the occasional deep sigh or sudden outburst of anger or tears. what would that have been like? i guess most of us have felt like our dreams have been shattered and our hopes dashed at one time or another, but that must have been intensely confusing.
i get confused sometimes. i don't understand a lot of thing, and this morning, i woke up feeling like i understood nothing. but as i read the account in luke of the death, burial, and resurrection of jesus, i was reminded about why i live. i remembered that this is what my life is about. this story is my life. it's all i need. and then i realized how easy it is for me to get involved in details and forget the big picture, the very reason for life and breath. my worries and fears and questions are so small compared to what the disciples were feeling that sabbath day, and i even know the sunday surprise and what happens at the end of this entire story (rev. 5:9-10).
as i began to ponder how the surprise has been ruined for me, i realized that instead, i have been ruined by the Surprise. the resurrection is the only reason i live, the only reason i dream, the only reason I'm "waisting" my life here in africa or anywhere else i live. this story has taken over my life. it will never be the same again. it has been "ruined" for the sake of christ (matt. 10:39). my life is not my own and never will be again.
in luke 23:56, i noticed how in the face of devastation, pain, and confusion, the disciples were still obedient. they went home and rested on the sabbath out of obedience to the law. and really, i think that's all God wants. he knows we will be unsure, confused, worried, scared, and doubtful at times. but all he asks for is obedience (john 14:23).
i've met this guy named Kristian since i've been here in south africa and have had the chance to talk to him a few times about his life and why he's here. he's from america but has felt the call of God to come to south africa. only a year ago, he was sitting in a crackhouse destroying his life with drugs. but soon after the Lord got a hold of his life and delivered him from all the junk he was in. i dont know if i've ever met anyone with such an unashamed joy of the lord as kristian has. i can see jesus on his face.
the other night as i talked with kristian, i learned a little more about him. i knew that he had been delivered from drugs, but i wasn't sure how or why he was here (he's a 40 year old, very successful, single american; he changed his name when he got saved a year ago). he told me (with reluctance and humility; i had to pry everything out of him; in other words, he wasnt boasting in what he had done) how he had come to africa, gone out to the squatter camps (very poor, temporary/makeshift villages), and felt the Lord calling him to live there. so he went home excited, only to find opposition to this decision. people were telling him that it was dumb or that he should think about it more. one of his close christian mentors, though, told him that it all came down to obedience. so with a little more prayer and confirmation from God, his decision was made. he sold all that he had (he's not poor either), and came back to africa in faith (this was only a few weeks ago).
many will say, that's too risky or foolish (I Cor. 1:28-29). but as kristian told me, it all comes down to obedience. his life has been ruined, lost, waisted, so that christ my live through him.
asi meditate on the story of jesus, i realize that he was obedient as well, even to the point of death (phil.2:8). just like my friend kristian, he gave up all he had and became poor (2 cor. 8:9) for our sake. i once read in a book, "people don't get crucified for helping the poor, but for joining the poor." both kristian and jesus know what it feels like to be rejected and mocked, having given up their former lives. jesus did it for kristian, and now kristian gets to do it for jesus. jesus did it for me, too, and anyone else who has labored through this much of the blog.
so, i'm not advocating the selling of all our possessions, though it certainly wouldn't be a bad thing. but i am hoping that all of us who are following christ will commit to obedience no matter how fooish it seems. jesus leaving his throne in heaven for a person like me seems pretty foolish to me.
may we not take lightly the sunday surprise that's already been ruined for us, but may we rather be ruined by the Surprise. happy easter!
and thanks for the love and prayers!
kyle
p.s. disclaimer: the reason i write personal stories and thought is in hopes that some might understand more deeply what i am going through. i suppose i could simply update on how many schools we've been to, how many books of hope we've handed out, how many churches we've ministered in, but i feel like stories hit home where statistics don't. i'd heard of the AIDS stats before i got here, but until i held anna in my arms, the girl who was brutally raped and mistreat, i did not understand. statistics, philosophy, and theology do not move my heart. stories do. i thik that's why jesus always told them. so, my apologies if you're more of a numbers person. i'll try better if i need to.
there's some photos of our team on this site:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/westwithjesus/
another things we've been able to do is help out with the organization of a Book of Hope warehouse. it was lots of hard work, but a good change for us. it was good to sweat a little and use our hands. we also helped with the loading and unloading of a shipment of clothes and food and other household items to be sent out into some of the villages.
this week, we've had a little time to relax and gear up for the next part of our trip. we met up with the other team that's here in south africa and had some great time hanging out with them. they left for swaziland yesterday, and we're leaving to go back to the orphanage tomorrow. we also had to learn how to conduct research while we're hear, which is something we might have to do. basically, it's kinda boring, but something that has to be done. in order to be most effective with Book of Hope, it's important to research different areas to see what the major issues are and also to see what kind of impact the ministry is having in a certain area.
so anyway, that's pretty much what we've been doing the last couple of weeks: manual labor, learning research skills, regrouping for the next part of the trip.
i'm learning a lot about the world and about myself and hopefully about God, and in light of easter, here's the random thoughts that are going through my head:
even though today was the sabbath, i woke up early not feeling very much at rest. my mind was racing, worrying about the future, dwelling on the past. i cannot even imagine what the disciples of jesus were thinking on this day about 2,000 years ago. they had just witnessed the Hope of Israel, maybe even the world, being crucified to death. they had left their families, their jobs, and their futures to put their trust in a man who was now dead. what now?
as i read this story this morning, i tried to put myself in their shoes (or sandals). it's kinda hard for me to do since i already know the sunday surprise. but there had to have been such a feeling of confusion, and fear, and doubt on that sabbath 2,000 years ago. i can picture the disciples sitting in a room filed with a heavy silence, except for the occasional deep sigh or sudden outburst of anger or tears. what would that have been like? i guess most of us have felt like our dreams have been shattered and our hopes dashed at one time or another, but that must have been intensely confusing.
i get confused sometimes. i don't understand a lot of thing, and this morning, i woke up feeling like i understood nothing. but as i read the account in luke of the death, burial, and resurrection of jesus, i was reminded about why i live. i remembered that this is what my life is about. this story is my life. it's all i need. and then i realized how easy it is for me to get involved in details and forget the big picture, the very reason for life and breath. my worries and fears and questions are so small compared to what the disciples were feeling that sabbath day, and i even know the sunday surprise and what happens at the end of this entire story (rev. 5:9-10).
as i began to ponder how the surprise has been ruined for me, i realized that instead, i have been ruined by the Surprise. the resurrection is the only reason i live, the only reason i dream, the only reason I'm "waisting" my life here in africa or anywhere else i live. this story has taken over my life. it will never be the same again. it has been "ruined" for the sake of christ (matt. 10:39). my life is not my own and never will be again.
in luke 23:56, i noticed how in the face of devastation, pain, and confusion, the disciples were still obedient. they went home and rested on the sabbath out of obedience to the law. and really, i think that's all God wants. he knows we will be unsure, confused, worried, scared, and doubtful at times. but all he asks for is obedience (john 14:23).
i've met this guy named Kristian since i've been here in south africa and have had the chance to talk to him a few times about his life and why he's here. he's from america but has felt the call of God to come to south africa. only a year ago, he was sitting in a crackhouse destroying his life with drugs. but soon after the Lord got a hold of his life and delivered him from all the junk he was in. i dont know if i've ever met anyone with such an unashamed joy of the lord as kristian has. i can see jesus on his face.
the other night as i talked with kristian, i learned a little more about him. i knew that he had been delivered from drugs, but i wasn't sure how or why he was here (he's a 40 year old, very successful, single american; he changed his name when he got saved a year ago). he told me (with reluctance and humility; i had to pry everything out of him; in other words, he wasnt boasting in what he had done) how he had come to africa, gone out to the squatter camps (very poor, temporary/makeshift villages), and felt the Lord calling him to live there. so he went home excited, only to find opposition to this decision. people were telling him that it was dumb or that he should think about it more. one of his close christian mentors, though, told him that it all came down to obedience. so with a little more prayer and confirmation from God, his decision was made. he sold all that he had (he's not poor either), and came back to africa in faith (this was only a few weeks ago).
many will say, that's too risky or foolish (I Cor. 1:28-29). but as kristian told me, it all comes down to obedience. his life has been ruined, lost, waisted, so that christ my live through him.
asi meditate on the story of jesus, i realize that he was obedient as well, even to the point of death (phil.2:8). just like my friend kristian, he gave up all he had and became poor (2 cor. 8:9) for our sake. i once read in a book, "people don't get crucified for helping the poor, but for joining the poor." both kristian and jesus know what it feels like to be rejected and mocked, having given up their former lives. jesus did it for kristian, and now kristian gets to do it for jesus. jesus did it for me, too, and anyone else who has labored through this much of the blog.
so, i'm not advocating the selling of all our possessions, though it certainly wouldn't be a bad thing. but i am hoping that all of us who are following christ will commit to obedience no matter how fooish it seems. jesus leaving his throne in heaven for a person like me seems pretty foolish to me.
may we not take lightly the sunday surprise that's already been ruined for us, but may we rather be ruined by the Surprise. happy easter!
and thanks for the love and prayers!
kyle
p.s. disclaimer: the reason i write personal stories and thought is in hopes that some might understand more deeply what i am going through. i suppose i could simply update on how many schools we've been to, how many books of hope we've handed out, how many churches we've ministered in, but i feel like stories hit home where statistics don't. i'd heard of the AIDS stats before i got here, but until i held anna in my arms, the girl who was brutally raped and mistreat, i did not understand. statistics, philosophy, and theology do not move my heart. stories do. i thik that's why jesus always told them. so, my apologies if you're more of a numbers person. i'll try better if i need to.
there's some photos of our team on this site:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/westwithjesus/
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Friday, March 16, 2007
a simple blog by a simple person
we're still in the city of mafikeng, south africa
working in the local schools. next week, we head to
Midrand, south africa and will hopefully get to work
at a few of the local orphanages and hospitals there
and in Rustenburg. i'm excited and little nervous at
the same time. it will be good just to be able to
give the kids the love and attention they were created
to receive. though book of hope isn't normally
directly involved in the humanitarian side of things,
we desperately believe in humanitarian aid and
unconditional love and giving. that is why we partner
with other organizations such as worldvision, who
tackle those types of poverty and sickness issues that
jesus talked about. so, we're excited to have the
chance to work in orphanages and hospitals for a week
or so, and have the chance to help with food
distribution and warehouse organization (somebody's
gotta do it).
anyway, it's great to be able to minister to hundreds
of kids at a time, but we truly believe in being
personal with as many individuals as we can. kinda
like when jesus was surrounded by the mob, he took the
time to stop and call out the lady who touched him.
that lady meant something to him. he had compassion
on her individually, and she left changed forever. i
met this homeless guy name eduard yesterday. i'm
pretty sure he has AIDS, though he would be ashamed to
admit it. he reached out his hand hoping i would give
him some money, and to his surprise, i actually sat
down next to him, looked him in the eye and talked
with him about his life. i didnt have much to offer -
an apple, a half-drunk bottle of juice, and a couple
dollars, but i dont think that mattered to him. in
that moment, we were the same. just a couple guys
sitting on the sidewalk talking about the hardships of
life, and the hope of something better. he let me
pray for him at the end, and then i left. i'll
probably never see him again, but i'll remember him.
i'll pray for him. when i'm having a bad day, i'll
think about eduard, who lost his parents at a young
age, is homeless now, resorted to begging for a living
because his body is being punished by a disease.
i met a guy named billy at KFC. he's 23, unmarried,
and just lost his 5 month old daughter to sickness.
he has dreams of being a singer and a dad again. we
talked about life and God, and i prayed for him at the
end. he was glowing with delight as i left, and i got
the chance to see him again a few days later. i gave
him a book of hope that afternoon, and when i drove
back by KFC that night, i saw him sitting outside
reading intently. billy is a random security guard
working at a south african kfc. billy is my friend.
george sits outside the grocery store everyday playing
his guitar or keyboard, and sings songs hoping that
people will come by and put some change in his jar.
george is blind, has been his whole life. i heard him
singing the song "burdens are lifted at calvary" and i
asked him if he knew jesus. he said he did, and i
smiled when i thought that the first thing he'll see
someday is the face of jesus.
those are the simple things that i cherish. it was
fun to speak to 1100 kids today at a high school about
values and making good choices. it was encouraging to
watch them laugh at our funny presentations and see
them silenced in our serious illustration about AIDS,
drugs, family, and true love. i knew that lives were
being effected as my friend jeremy gave his testimony
about his near death experience with alcohol
poisoning, and how God gave him a purpose and a hope
in life. but i also know that lives are being
effected everyday, as you and i walk around the
office, the store, the street. i pray for george, for
billy, for eduard, and for everyone who has taken the
time to read this simple blog by a simple person named
kyle.
kyle
working in the local schools. next week, we head to
Midrand, south africa and will hopefully get to work
at a few of the local orphanages and hospitals there
and in Rustenburg. i'm excited and little nervous at
the same time. it will be good just to be able to
give the kids the love and attention they were created
to receive. though book of hope isn't normally
directly involved in the humanitarian side of things,
we desperately believe in humanitarian aid and
unconditional love and giving. that is why we partner
with other organizations such as worldvision, who
tackle those types of poverty and sickness issues that
jesus talked about. so, we're excited to have the
chance to work in orphanages and hospitals for a week
or so, and have the chance to help with food
distribution and warehouse organization (somebody's
gotta do it).
anyway, it's great to be able to minister to hundreds
of kids at a time, but we truly believe in being
personal with as many individuals as we can. kinda
like when jesus was surrounded by the mob, he took the
time to stop and call out the lady who touched him.
that lady meant something to him. he had compassion
on her individually, and she left changed forever. i
met this homeless guy name eduard yesterday. i'm
pretty sure he has AIDS, though he would be ashamed to
admit it. he reached out his hand hoping i would give
him some money, and to his surprise, i actually sat
down next to him, looked him in the eye and talked
with him about his life. i didnt have much to offer -
an apple, a half-drunk bottle of juice, and a couple
dollars, but i dont think that mattered to him. in
that moment, we were the same. just a couple guys
sitting on the sidewalk talking about the hardships of
life, and the hope of something better. he let me
pray for him at the end, and then i left. i'll
probably never see him again, but i'll remember him.
i'll pray for him. when i'm having a bad day, i'll
think about eduard, who lost his parents at a young
age, is homeless now, resorted to begging for a living
because his body is being punished by a disease.
i met a guy named billy at KFC. he's 23, unmarried,
and just lost his 5 month old daughter to sickness.
he has dreams of being a singer and a dad again. we
talked about life and God, and i prayed for him at the
end. he was glowing with delight as i left, and i got
the chance to see him again a few days later. i gave
him a book of hope that afternoon, and when i drove
back by KFC that night, i saw him sitting outside
reading intently. billy is a random security guard
working at a south african kfc. billy is my friend.
george sits outside the grocery store everyday playing
his guitar or keyboard, and sings songs hoping that
people will come by and put some change in his jar.
george is blind, has been his whole life. i heard him
singing the song "burdens are lifted at calvary" and i
asked him if he knew jesus. he said he did, and i
smiled when i thought that the first thing he'll see
someday is the face of jesus.
those are the simple things that i cherish. it was
fun to speak to 1100 kids today at a high school about
values and making good choices. it was encouraging to
watch them laugh at our funny presentations and see
them silenced in our serious illustration about AIDS,
drugs, family, and true love. i knew that lives were
being effected as my friend jeremy gave his testimony
about his near death experience with alcohol
poisoning, and how God gave him a purpose and a hope
in life. but i also know that lives are being
effected everyday, as you and i walk around the
office, the store, the street. i pray for george, for
billy, for eduard, and for everyone who has taken the
time to read this simple blog by a simple person named
kyle.
kyle
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
we are in Mafikeng, South Africa and have been traveling around in this city for about the last week and a half. it's been great, because we've had the opportunity to go way out into the african bush and visit a few different village schools. these are places where the kids have probably never seen a white person in their lives. i say this not because they told me, but because i tried to shake their hands and they all would run away and hide behind each other. but eventually they warm up to us and realize that we're not lethal or poisonous, and we have a great time with them. it is definitely eye-opening to travel around in these villages and see what the kids face each day. the more i think about it, though, the more my perspective changes. sometimes we look at what they have and say, man, i feel bad for them because they don't have anything. but i say that through my american materialistic perspective. i think many people who live in villages like this are receiving love and friendship and acceptance, and they can live even happier lives than us. seems like we get depressed a lot and feel lonely, even with all the stuff we have. so maybe i should say, man, i feel bad for us because we have so much and we miss out on the simple but transcendent things of life. that doesnt take away from the fact the many of the kids are suffering, though, from hunger and sexual abuse and loneliness. i just dont think that material things are the answer. and when we go into the schools, we really dont have those material things to offer anyways. i so wish that we could give every kid a warm meal and a cold drink, but we can't. i could never imagine how many kids are in this town we're in, much less the world. i'm amazed at the sheer number of kids we get to be with and love on each day. it's insane! and sometimes i feel so helpless. but i see that the kids are hungry not just for food, but for truth, for love, for hope. i can see it in their little eyes when they look at me. and so like peter in Acts, when he told the guy he had no money but he could give him something much better, we're believing that we're doing that everyday. that's not to say that we shouldn't feed our brothers and care for widows and orphans and the poor in general. i just know that we all get hungry again in our physical bodies. every person that jesus raised from the dead died again. our life is short here, like a mist. and though things seem hopeless in our world, this guy named jesus came and said that he had water that would cause us never to thirst again, and he mentioned something about having a food that we dont know about.
continue to pray that we would speak life and truth into these precious little lives through our words, smiles, hugs, high fives, and testimonies and that the Holy Spirit would guide the kids into all truth.
when we were at victoria falls in zambia, there was a moment that i will never forget until i see the true glory of God. we were approaching a bridge in front of the falls when we realized that we werent crossing this bridge without getting soaked. so we tried to run across, but it didnt matter. we got drenched. finally, we accepted it and for the next few minutes, we danced and ran and jumped and screamed and enjoyed being in the presence of this might waterfall. the power of the waterfall literally took my breath away! when i would look at the waterfall, all i could see was bright light, the sun shining through the water that was pelting us. all i could imagine was that i was looking at the face of God. it was too beautiful for me to look at very long. i imagined that God's glory was drenching me and all i could do was laugh and dance and worship and shout. at that point nothing else mattered. not my problems, not the world's problems. all i could do was enjoy the Lord. that's going to be a lot of fun someday.
i wish i could write more, but my time is up. thanks so much for the prayers, emails, encouraging words, and love. i think about my friends and family everyday and you are all in my prayers.
kyle
continue to pray that we would speak life and truth into these precious little lives through our words, smiles, hugs, high fives, and testimonies and that the Holy Spirit would guide the kids into all truth.
when we were at victoria falls in zambia, there was a moment that i will never forget until i see the true glory of God. we were approaching a bridge in front of the falls when we realized that we werent crossing this bridge without getting soaked. so we tried to run across, but it didnt matter. we got drenched. finally, we accepted it and for the next few minutes, we danced and ran and jumped and screamed and enjoyed being in the presence of this might waterfall. the power of the waterfall literally took my breath away! when i would look at the waterfall, all i could see was bright light, the sun shining through the water that was pelting us. all i could imagine was that i was looking at the face of God. it was too beautiful for me to look at very long. i imagined that God's glory was drenching me and all i could do was laugh and dance and worship and shout. at that point nothing else mattered. not my problems, not the world's problems. all i could do was enjoy the Lord. that's going to be a lot of fun someday.
i wish i could write more, but my time is up. thanks so much for the prayers, emails, encouraging words, and love. i think about my friends and family everyday and you are all in my prayers.
kyle
Friday, March 2, 2007
Adventures and Thoughts
yesterday, we arrived in livingstone, zambia to stay for a couple of days. we have a couple days off and so we all decided to head to victoria falls, one of the seven wonders of the world!! we slept on the floor of a church in francistown, botswana for the night and then headed here to zambia. crossing the border yesterday was a chore, which it usually is in africa. but this was crazy! to cross the border, we had to drive our trusty land rover up on a big barge and float to the other side. the thing is, in africa, there are no signs, no one looking the least bit official, and usually everyone trying to tell you what to do. so we drive up and realize that we have to cross this river. bystanders are yelling directions at us and we reluctantly drive up on the barge and hope that this is right. so we cruise over to the other side and drive off the barge into complete chaos. semi trucks were everywhere, vying for position to get on the barge and we got blocked into a corner more than once. finally we make it through the semis and then have to jump through a few hoops to make it through the zambia border. crossing the border in africa can be a challenge because the people can basically do what they want and you pretty much have to listen. for instance, if they dont like my shoes, they can fine me for it. or if i forget to say thank you, i have to move to the back of the line (i just made that up, but some things seem that outrageous. in fact this lady tried to ticket us for stopping 2 feet past a stop sign instead of right at the stop sign. they take bribes, too, which is something we won't do). so we finally made it and realized that we got a great deal, because the place we're staying at helps to wave the $100 visa we're supposed to pay to get into zambia. so we got in free! thanks God.
so this is a good couple days off to be refreshed, but i do miss working with the kids. i read don miller's Searching For God Knows What on the way here, and he said that we all have a deep longing to be loved and accepted and valued. i agree with that. it seems that we lost our true identity in the garden where we were naked and unashamed and ever since have been looking for others to validate us and give us worth. since then, it has been a competition of who is the best and most beautiful and most successful. so, the ugly are frowned upon. the sick are deemed worthless. and we play along like it was supposed to be that way. we look to others to tell us who we are. so we try to fit in and buy nice clothes and do note-worthy things to receive praise from people. the age-old lie: our stuff, looks, and accomplishments define us. Don also said that one of the best things a person can do is look someone in the eye and tell them that they are worth something. it made me feel good because that's exactly what we are doing everyday. i know that don miller's opinion shouldn't dictate what i do, but he is very right. life boils down to the question of: who am i? everyone asks themself that deep down, and we usually look to friends, family, and pop culture to give us the answer. but i'm realizing that this answer is only found in christ, not through a biblicial formula or 5 steps to receiving jesus, but through a deep relationship with christ. he created us to be in relationship with him. he is looking for an intimate, passionate relationship. the mysteries of God are far too deep for us to mentally ascribe to. paul said that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him - but God has revealed these things to us by his Spirit. the Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God and reveals them to us (my paraphrase). what the heck! what are the deep things of God?! that sounds scary. but paul also encouraged the ephesians to know a love that surpasses knowledge and prayed that the colossian believers would have a revelation of the knowledge of God. it appears to me that there is some knowledge going on here that doesn't refer to book knowledge, but rather a knowledge that come from relationship and encounter. and this is what our souls long for, an encounter with the uncreated God. biblical formulas and steps and doctrines might be good to an extent, but they are also a little weird because they try to define God. we cannot define God. he just is. sometimes i try to think about him for a few minutes and it hurts my mind. he's frightening. but he's also good and loving. john piper says that God would not be loving unless he upholds and displays and magnifies his glory for our everlasting enjoyment. he is the only reality that can fully satisfy the human heart. and that's it, i think. we were created to enjoy God, to glory in like paul said the depths and the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God. if we are bored with God, it's not because he is boring, but because we are boring. he is awe-inspiring. just ask the angels who sit around him and cant help but worship him continually.
wow, i just wrote a lot. i don't know why i wrote all that, but i suppose it's that human thing inside to have people validate me and like me and say, "great thoughts, way to go, we're proud of you". but whether anyone reads this or thinks these thought were good or not, i hope i can find my true identity in who God says that i am (but i still like it when you're proud of me, dad).
anyway, i had a great talk with this guy named Obed the other day. he took me buy the hand (cause that's what they do here and it's not considered gay even though it felt weird) and asked if i would walk with him. he expressed his gratitude for us being here and was amazed at our love for the kids. he mentioned that we were a Godsend and we inspired him in his life to go all out for God. people have told us that a lot here. one girl went as far to say that her life would never be the same, and she didnt laugh afterwards. she was serious. i dont understand. i guess it show that people are desperate for love and attention and passion. i dont feel like i'm doing anything incredible and i know that i'm not. but i have realized that a smile, a hug, or a meaningful conversation can change someone's life. i'm so grateful to God for allowing me to be here and experience the sights and sounds of africa. some of the sights are worthy of mourning. but some are worthy of laughter and joy and dancing. i dont take anything for granted. seeing the smiles in kids' faces, hearing their laughs at our presentations, watching their minds turn in deep thought at the notion that they are valued and loved by God is worth it all.
barbara's mom is a witchdoctor. her mom used to cast spells on her so she would do well in school. the product of this was massive headaches all the time. barbara heard the gospel through her window one night through an outdoor church meeting. she decided to give her life to jesus, and she did. when asked how she knew that jesus was the truth, barbara said that her headaches went away and never came back once she gave her life to christ. barbara's mom is still a witchdoctor, but barbara is a christ-follower. a few days ago, i watched as barbara told her testimony of what the lord had done in her life to 600 school kids. i watched as the kids listened intently, and then we got love on the kids and hand out the story of jesus and his love for them. their earthly fathers have most likely let them down, but their heavenly father will never let them down. the end.
kyle
p.s. i can't tell you how much the prayers and emails mean. thanks so much. God is opening up some crazy doors.
so this is a good couple days off to be refreshed, but i do miss working with the kids. i read don miller's Searching For God Knows What on the way here, and he said that we all have a deep longing to be loved and accepted and valued. i agree with that. it seems that we lost our true identity in the garden where we were naked and unashamed and ever since have been looking for others to validate us and give us worth. since then, it has been a competition of who is the best and most beautiful and most successful. so, the ugly are frowned upon. the sick are deemed worthless. and we play along like it was supposed to be that way. we look to others to tell us who we are. so we try to fit in and buy nice clothes and do note-worthy things to receive praise from people. the age-old lie: our stuff, looks, and accomplishments define us. Don also said that one of the best things a person can do is look someone in the eye and tell them that they are worth something. it made me feel good because that's exactly what we are doing everyday. i know that don miller's opinion shouldn't dictate what i do, but he is very right. life boils down to the question of: who am i? everyone asks themself that deep down, and we usually look to friends, family, and pop culture to give us the answer. but i'm realizing that this answer is only found in christ, not through a biblicial formula or 5 steps to receiving jesus, but through a deep relationship with christ. he created us to be in relationship with him. he is looking for an intimate, passionate relationship. the mysteries of God are far too deep for us to mentally ascribe to. paul said that no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him - but God has revealed these things to us by his Spirit. the Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God and reveals them to us (my paraphrase). what the heck! what are the deep things of God?! that sounds scary. but paul also encouraged the ephesians to know a love that surpasses knowledge and prayed that the colossian believers would have a revelation of the knowledge of God. it appears to me that there is some knowledge going on here that doesn't refer to book knowledge, but rather a knowledge that come from relationship and encounter. and this is what our souls long for, an encounter with the uncreated God. biblical formulas and steps and doctrines might be good to an extent, but they are also a little weird because they try to define God. we cannot define God. he just is. sometimes i try to think about him for a few minutes and it hurts my mind. he's frightening. but he's also good and loving. john piper says that God would not be loving unless he upholds and displays and magnifies his glory for our everlasting enjoyment. he is the only reality that can fully satisfy the human heart. and that's it, i think. we were created to enjoy God, to glory in like paul said the depths and the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God. if we are bored with God, it's not because he is boring, but because we are boring. he is awe-inspiring. just ask the angels who sit around him and cant help but worship him continually.
wow, i just wrote a lot. i don't know why i wrote all that, but i suppose it's that human thing inside to have people validate me and like me and say, "great thoughts, way to go, we're proud of you". but whether anyone reads this or thinks these thought were good or not, i hope i can find my true identity in who God says that i am (but i still like it when you're proud of me, dad).
anyway, i had a great talk with this guy named Obed the other day. he took me buy the hand (cause that's what they do here and it's not considered gay even though it felt weird) and asked if i would walk with him. he expressed his gratitude for us being here and was amazed at our love for the kids. he mentioned that we were a Godsend and we inspired him in his life to go all out for God. people have told us that a lot here. one girl went as far to say that her life would never be the same, and she didnt laugh afterwards. she was serious. i dont understand. i guess it show that people are desperate for love and attention and passion. i dont feel like i'm doing anything incredible and i know that i'm not. but i have realized that a smile, a hug, or a meaningful conversation can change someone's life. i'm so grateful to God for allowing me to be here and experience the sights and sounds of africa. some of the sights are worthy of mourning. but some are worthy of laughter and joy and dancing. i dont take anything for granted. seeing the smiles in kids' faces, hearing their laughs at our presentations, watching their minds turn in deep thought at the notion that they are valued and loved by God is worth it all.
barbara's mom is a witchdoctor. her mom used to cast spells on her so she would do well in school. the product of this was massive headaches all the time. barbara heard the gospel through her window one night through an outdoor church meeting. she decided to give her life to jesus, and she did. when asked how she knew that jesus was the truth, barbara said that her headaches went away and never came back once she gave her life to christ. barbara's mom is still a witchdoctor, but barbara is a christ-follower. a few days ago, i watched as barbara told her testimony of what the lord had done in her life to 600 school kids. i watched as the kids listened intently, and then we got love on the kids and hand out the story of jesus and his love for them. their earthly fathers have most likely let them down, but their heavenly father will never let them down. the end.
kyle
p.s. i can't tell you how much the prayers and emails mean. thanks so much. God is opening up some crazy doors.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
so, a dog peed on me the other day while i was inviting this guy to church. that was kinda fun. the dog's owner didnt seem to care either and my friend lauren just watched it happen and laughed without telling me. oh, the adventures of africa.
well, i'm still in botswana, but i'm in the capital city now which is called gaberone. things are going excellent so far and the response in the schools have been great. the greatest part for us though, is to be able to ignite a passion within the local church and that has definitely happened here. we trained some of the young adults of the church in one of our presentations and they did it themselves yesterday in a school. it was a very serious drama about a girl who has gone through the worst day ever, realizing that her boyfriend dated her only for sex and that she might now have HIV. one of her friends also disowns her, her dad kicks her out of the house and another friend offers drugs to solve her problems. pretty rough day. but this is what these kids are going through all the time. the drama went great, and some kids actually came up to me and asked me to pray for them afterwards.
i wish i could write a lot more in detail, but i cant right now. our days have been full and tiresome, but very rewarding. kids are constantly hanging all over me and i love to love on them. the kingdom of heaven belongs to those like them, and i get to learn from them and see jesus all over their faces.
we have a couple days off after today, and we are going to head to victoria falls!! pray that we'll have a safe trip and a relaxing sabbath.
thanks so much for the prayers and the emails. i read them all even though i cant always reply.
kyle
well, i'm still in botswana, but i'm in the capital city now which is called gaberone. things are going excellent so far and the response in the schools have been great. the greatest part for us though, is to be able to ignite a passion within the local church and that has definitely happened here. we trained some of the young adults of the church in one of our presentations and they did it themselves yesterday in a school. it was a very serious drama about a girl who has gone through the worst day ever, realizing that her boyfriend dated her only for sex and that she might now have HIV. one of her friends also disowns her, her dad kicks her out of the house and another friend offers drugs to solve her problems. pretty rough day. but this is what these kids are going through all the time. the drama went great, and some kids actually came up to me and asked me to pray for them afterwards.
i wish i could write a lot more in detail, but i cant right now. our days have been full and tiresome, but very rewarding. kids are constantly hanging all over me and i love to love on them. the kingdom of heaven belongs to those like them, and i get to learn from them and see jesus all over their faces.
we have a couple days off after today, and we are going to head to victoria falls!! pray that we'll have a safe trip and a relaxing sabbath.
thanks so much for the prayers and the emails. i read them all even though i cant always reply.
kyle
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Botswana
well, i am in Botswana as i write this in the city called francistown. things have been going great so far, and i thank God for that. we're learning that there's a difference between time and africa time. it's suits me fine cause i'm not too time-oriented myself. we went to church on sunday at 9 oclock and unlike my church back home, we didnt get out at 10 but rather 1:30. so we kinda just go with the flow. when we walk in, we are automatically the center of attention since many have hardly ever seen an american in there lives. 3 of us including me were asked on the spot to stand up and give our testimonies in front of the church to encourage everyone, and it went great. the worship was so much fun. the people are very sincere and warm. later that night we went back to the church to train the botswanans in how to do our school presentations. our goal is not to come into different countries, hand out books and leave, but rather encourage and mobilized the nationals to take over the repsonsibility. basically, we provide the resource for free (the book of hope) and then allow them to use it for ministry. the response in botswana has been incredible so far. we've been receiving calls from all over the country to come and work in certain cities and train the people their. anyway, the training was supposed to go from 5pm to 7pm, but we didnt leave till 930. it was an incredible service though. not only did the people catch the vision, but we got to pray for them and enourage them with our lives, and we were so encouraged by them as well. at the end, the people wanted us to lay our hands on them and pray for them. at first were going to pray just for the kids, but it ended up being every single person that was there (about 120 people). and i'm not just talking about one of us saying a 30 second prayer of blessing. i'm saying that every single person in our group prayed for every single person in the church individually. they formed a huge line that never seemed to get shorter and they walked down our line as we layed our hands on them and prayed for them. an hour later, i was praying for the last person. phew. it was tiring, but incredible. my voice was gone by the end, but it was evident that God was moving. at the very end, the people took up a special offering for us, by their own choice. we would never ask, of course, but we were so humbled by this act of love. these are people who are struggling to stay alive, stricken by poverty and disease, but they insisted that they take an offering for us. i was moved.
the presentations in the schools have been going very well. the kids seem to understand and are enamored by our dramas (or maybe our white skin). when some shake our hands, they look at their hand in disbelief that they have touched an american. it's great to be able to look them in the eyes and tell them that we are just like them. we have pain. we hurt. we feel lonely and worthless at times. but the love of Christ is the only thing that brings us through. no matter what we have been through, what people have said or done to us, we are loved and valued by God. and these kids have been through a lot. many have been abused or even raped. many have lost family to AIDS. many are confused about life. but they seem to be humbled themselves that we would come this far to give them this message of hope. there are many in our group that have powerful testimonies of what can do. i'm moved myself every time i hear them. one girl was born to a young teenager in india and left at an orphanage until someone from the states adopted her. one of the guys' mom was killed at age 4 and his dad was put in jail for life on false charges. but God has brought all of us here for this time to speak life into these kids and love on them.
i know this is long, but one of the greatest things for us is seeing the nationals get involved in what we're doing. today at a school, a group of 7 teenagers and twenty-somethings did almost the whole presentation themselves. it was amazing to see their passion, and the kids were truly mesmerized by what they were watching. there's only so much we can do as americans traveling in botswana. we can only relate to botswanans so much. but when the botswanans do the presentation and speak it in suswanee ( their language) and talk about the specific things they are facing, it is truly a special thing.
this isn't about us feeling good about ourselves. it isnt about us presenting at a certain amount of schools or giving out a certain amount of books. this is about love and encouragement, unity and compassion. when we begin to understand God's passion for every nation, tribe and tongue to come to him in worship, we are freed to forget our small problems and join in a revolution that is bigger than anything this world has ever seen. the people in botswana have caught this passion, and i believe with all my heart that when we leave, it wont stop.
maybe we havent ended poverty or AIDS or corruption or the sex trade, but we have made a difference, even if it is small. Henri Nouwen once said, God rejoices, not because the problems of the world have been solved, not because all human pain and suffering have come to an end, nor because thousands of people have been converted and are now praising him for his goodness. No, God rejoices because one of his children who was lost has been found.
if you've made it this far in the blog, don't be overwhelmed at the darkness and sickness of the world to where you are paralized. decide to do something. get involved somehow. pray for a country. eat one meal tomorrow and pray about the kids who are lucky to get one meal here in southern africa. it's all about the small things. mother teresa said, we cannot do great things, but we can do small things with great love.
thanks so much for the prayers and the love. i love and miss all of you.
kyle
the presentations in the schools have been going very well. the kids seem to understand and are enamored by our dramas (or maybe our white skin). when some shake our hands, they look at their hand in disbelief that they have touched an american. it's great to be able to look them in the eyes and tell them that we are just like them. we have pain. we hurt. we feel lonely and worthless at times. but the love of Christ is the only thing that brings us through. no matter what we have been through, what people have said or done to us, we are loved and valued by God. and these kids have been through a lot. many have been abused or even raped. many have lost family to AIDS. many are confused about life. but they seem to be humbled themselves that we would come this far to give them this message of hope. there are many in our group that have powerful testimonies of what can do. i'm moved myself every time i hear them. one girl was born to a young teenager in india and left at an orphanage until someone from the states adopted her. one of the guys' mom was killed at age 4 and his dad was put in jail for life on false charges. but God has brought all of us here for this time to speak life into these kids and love on them.
i know this is long, but one of the greatest things for us is seeing the nationals get involved in what we're doing. today at a school, a group of 7 teenagers and twenty-somethings did almost the whole presentation themselves. it was amazing to see their passion, and the kids were truly mesmerized by what they were watching. there's only so much we can do as americans traveling in botswana. we can only relate to botswanans so much. but when the botswanans do the presentation and speak it in suswanee ( their language) and talk about the specific things they are facing, it is truly a special thing.
this isn't about us feeling good about ourselves. it isnt about us presenting at a certain amount of schools or giving out a certain amount of books. this is about love and encouragement, unity and compassion. when we begin to understand God's passion for every nation, tribe and tongue to come to him in worship, we are freed to forget our small problems and join in a revolution that is bigger than anything this world has ever seen. the people in botswana have caught this passion, and i believe with all my heart that when we leave, it wont stop.
maybe we havent ended poverty or AIDS or corruption or the sex trade, but we have made a difference, even if it is small. Henri Nouwen once said, God rejoices, not because the problems of the world have been solved, not because all human pain and suffering have come to an end, nor because thousands of people have been converted and are now praising him for his goodness. No, God rejoices because one of his children who was lost has been found.
if you've made it this far in the blog, don't be overwhelmed at the darkness and sickness of the world to where you are paralized. decide to do something. get involved somehow. pray for a country. eat one meal tomorrow and pray about the kids who are lucky to get one meal here in southern africa. it's all about the small things. mother teresa said, we cannot do great things, but we can do small things with great love.
thanks so much for the prayers and the love. i love and miss all of you.
kyle
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
i read a book in fourth grade called How to Eat Fried Worms. when i read that book, i didn't realize that this event would actually take place in my life many years later. yes, i ate worms the other night, and intestines, or something like that. good thing i learned a while back how to hold my breath, swallow, smile, and compliment the cook on the delicious food without even really tasting it.
so my training is over and my group is as ready to finally leave the base we've been staying at. we've prayed, fasted, chased giraffs, hunted wild warthog, killed wild warthog, watched wild warthog be skinned, cooked wild warthog, eaten wild warthog, laughed, cried, learned, been stretched, been confused, been overwhelmed (not only by the vastness and darkness of the world, but even more by the vastness and love of God), and prepared the best we know how. my team is heading to botswana on friday morning if everything goes as planned, which hardly ever happens in africa.
a few quick stories before i have to leave. i was talking to a few people in town the local town the other day and they said they knew our group wasnt from around here. i laughed and said, ya i know, we're americans and i apologize for being so noticably loud and insensitive. they said, no that's not it. i knew you werent from here because you looked us in the eye and smile at us. the other white people here dont do that. i then realized that though apartheid was officially done away with in 1994 in South Africa, it is still very prevalent. there is still so much separation, a little similar to the U.S. but worse. it does give us a chance, though, to sort of break down some of the barriers as most of our group is white. pray for that.
another thing, my friend nico is in our group and one of his friends comitted suicide the other day. one of the girls was trying to be empathetic by saying, ya that happened to one of my friends, too. nico said, ya, this was my 7th friend that it's happened to. wow. i hope i dont need to say more. there's a darkness here that is being pierced by light in some areas, but it is still here. people have no hope and no future. parents are dying of AIDS, 12 year old kids are leading the homes, suicide and violence rates are insane, the rich have nothing to do with the poor, racism is overwhelming. i dont even want to say more for fear of repetition which might lead to desensitization. but there is a confusion going on that can't be explained other than our enemy is not of flesh and blood. i'm a little nervous of what i have to offer the children, and the truth is that i have nothing to offer but love and truth. i find myself asking the why questions so much, but sometimes all i can ask is the what questions. what can i do or say? can i give a hug and tell a child that i love them and that there is a God that loves them and delights in them? yes, i can do that. and that's all i know to do right now.
in our presentations and dramas, we'll be focusing on tough issues such as violence, love, sex, aids, family, value, purpose. but still, how do you tell a 14 year old girl not sleep with the man at the grocery store when she has no place else to find food? i will end on this, though. i refuse to be impressed by what the enemy has done. i refuse to be frozen by his lies. i refuse to be overwhelmed by the darkness and i cling to the fact that what God is so much more impressive and mind-boggling than any sad story or statistic will ever be.
and so, i keep breathing. i keep smiling. i keep loving and praying. i keep seeking and searching. i hold on to a love that surpasses all knowledge.
kyle
p.s. things are going as good as they could ever go. God is present in our group and we are expecting Him to do amazing things through us. just wanted to say that, cause sometimes i only have time to write about the sad things and i wish i could tell everything like the time i raced a giraff, but i'll save that one for later.
so my training is over and my group is as ready to finally leave the base we've been staying at. we've prayed, fasted, chased giraffs, hunted wild warthog, killed wild warthog, watched wild warthog be skinned, cooked wild warthog, eaten wild warthog, laughed, cried, learned, been stretched, been confused, been overwhelmed (not only by the vastness and darkness of the world, but even more by the vastness and love of God), and prepared the best we know how. my team is heading to botswana on friday morning if everything goes as planned, which hardly ever happens in africa.
a few quick stories before i have to leave. i was talking to a few people in town the local town the other day and they said they knew our group wasnt from around here. i laughed and said, ya i know, we're americans and i apologize for being so noticably loud and insensitive. they said, no that's not it. i knew you werent from here because you looked us in the eye and smile at us. the other white people here dont do that. i then realized that though apartheid was officially done away with in 1994 in South Africa, it is still very prevalent. there is still so much separation, a little similar to the U.S. but worse. it does give us a chance, though, to sort of break down some of the barriers as most of our group is white. pray for that.
another thing, my friend nico is in our group and one of his friends comitted suicide the other day. one of the girls was trying to be empathetic by saying, ya that happened to one of my friends, too. nico said, ya, this was my 7th friend that it's happened to. wow. i hope i dont need to say more. there's a darkness here that is being pierced by light in some areas, but it is still here. people have no hope and no future. parents are dying of AIDS, 12 year old kids are leading the homes, suicide and violence rates are insane, the rich have nothing to do with the poor, racism is overwhelming. i dont even want to say more for fear of repetition which might lead to desensitization. but there is a confusion going on that can't be explained other than our enemy is not of flesh and blood. i'm a little nervous of what i have to offer the children, and the truth is that i have nothing to offer but love and truth. i find myself asking the why questions so much, but sometimes all i can ask is the what questions. what can i do or say? can i give a hug and tell a child that i love them and that there is a God that loves them and delights in them? yes, i can do that. and that's all i know to do right now.
in our presentations and dramas, we'll be focusing on tough issues such as violence, love, sex, aids, family, value, purpose. but still, how do you tell a 14 year old girl not sleep with the man at the grocery store when she has no place else to find food? i will end on this, though. i refuse to be impressed by what the enemy has done. i refuse to be frozen by his lies. i refuse to be overwhelmed by the darkness and i cling to the fact that what God is so much more impressive and mind-boggling than any sad story or statistic will ever be.
and so, i keep breathing. i keep smiling. i keep loving and praying. i keep seeking and searching. i hold on to a love that surpasses all knowledge.
kyle
p.s. things are going as good as they could ever go. God is present in our group and we are expecting Him to do amazing things through us. just wanted to say that, cause sometimes i only have time to write about the sad things and i wish i could tell everything like the time i raced a giraff, but i'll save that one for later.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tears
We watched a video about the AIDS pandemic in Swaziland today as a part of our AIDS awareness training. This training is important for us so that we are prepared to give answers to the multitude of questions that we will undoubtedly face in the next few months. So anyways, I watched the video. I cried. (silence)....(deep breath)....I just don't understand, and I know that it's not for me to understand. Weird thing about the crying is that it was the third time I'd seen the video. But I can tell you know that if I watched it ten more times in a row I would lose it every time. It's stuff that I can't explain in a blog, especially since I only have 4 more minutes to type this. I guess all I can ask for is prayers...that we will be able to shine some light into this very dark region of the world. There is a lot of confusion going on in Africa, and this pandemic is growing everyday....So, if your reading this, just think about this: life is sacred. There's something about a soul and a body colliding through God's grace that makes life and breath a divine thing. What makes my life more important that another's life, let's say a 13 year old girl that was raped by her uncle who has AIDS and thought he might be cured by sleeping with a virgin? Now this little girl is pregnant with a child who will undoubtedly contract the disease as well. And the cycle just keeps going and going. The only thing I know to do is to offer these children hope, through a Father in heaven who will never let them down, unlike most of their earthly fathers who chose to orphan them.
1 in 7 people in South Africa have AIDS. I know statistics are hard to grasp without a face, but i get to see the faces and hold the little fingers, see Jesus in the most distressing disguises (as mother teresa used to say).
thanks to all who have been praying for me.
in love and tears,
kyle
1 in 7 people in South Africa have AIDS. I know statistics are hard to grasp without a face, but i get to see the faces and hold the little fingers, see Jesus in the most distressing disguises (as mother teresa used to say).
thanks to all who have been praying for me.
in love and tears,
kyle
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Love
That's such a crazy word in English. One second I love cheeseburgers, the next second I love my mom. And then we throw in the old "I love God." Just think about it. I love Taco Bell, but I also love God. Is that normal? It is for me I guess. I say stuff like that all the time. But maybe I triple love God and only single love my favorite shirt. Anyway, I guess the point is, what is love? I was reading the other night and I learned that God is love. He is the epitomy of the truest form of love. I also learned that we should love each other, and not just our friends, in fact. Hmmm...so, I should love my enemy, too, and even pray for them. I'll admit, I didn't pray for Sadaam, and i don't think ever prayed for osama. i guess they're supposed to be our enemies right? well, most people in the world would then have to pray for George W. because he hasn't made many friends lately either. but that's not the point. the point is, God showed us love by giving up everything He had for us. Paul from the Bible says to treat people as more important than ourselves, to prefer on another. could i even say to love others more than myself? so, would God ask me to do something He hasn't done. does He expect more from me than He does from Himself. I don't think so. so what does that mean? could God actually prefer us more than Himself? could He even love us more than Himself? I don't know for sure, but i do know the love He does have for us is huge, bigger than we could ever imagine. I don't know why He loves me like that, but it makes me smile and even laugh sometimes - and yes, even weep. i do know, though, that i want to love like that. supposedly my life isn't my own anymore. a call to follow jesus is a call to die. so i guess i died a few years back.
i'm not in africa yet, but i'm already anticipating the love God will show people through this human called kyle. i'm even excited about the love He will show kyle through other people. remember, we find Jesus in the "least of these." but the hard thing is, will i show love when i finish typing this to the lady at the front desk who yells at me for something because she's having a bad day? will i love the guy who pulls out in front of me at the gas station or even act like he's more important than me? I hope that i dont use africa as an excuse to love, but that i can love where i'm at right now. God did.
kyle
p.s. i still love cheeseburgers
i'm not in africa yet, but i'm already anticipating the love God will show people through this human called kyle. i'm even excited about the love He will show kyle through other people. remember, we find Jesus in the "least of these." but the hard thing is, will i show love when i finish typing this to the lady at the front desk who yells at me for something because she's having a bad day? will i love the guy who pulls out in front of me at the gas station or even act like he's more important than me? I hope that i dont use africa as an excuse to love, but that i can love where i'm at right now. God did.
kyle
p.s. i still love cheeseburgers
Thursday, January 11, 2007
The Book of Hope
Sanctify them with Your truth; Your word is truth. (John 17:17)
One of the main things our group will be doing in Southern Africa is distributing the Book of Hope. The Book of Hope tells the life story of Jesus in the age-specific language a child or youth can understand. It also contains important sections that concentrate on the issues most vital to the students at different age groups.
So you might be asking why we would go all the way to Africa to distribute a little book to children. Good question. First of all, for some of these kids, this book will be one of the only things that they get from someone all year. It won’t be thrown away like it might be here in America where kids have so much stuff, but it will be cherished and read and even read again. Another thing that makes this book so special is that it is the eternal, truth-filled Message of Jesus Christ! Paul, one of Jesus’ early followers, said that the Message of Jesus is the power of God for salvation. The Bible also says in Hebrews 4:12 that the Message is living and active, so overwhelming that it pierces to our soul and spirit. I mean, that’s incredible to think that the Bible, the Message of Jesus, is actually alive! It grabs us, sweeps us off our feet, takes us into places we’ve never dreamed of. And while most of us will probably come back without any of the clothes we took over, having given them all away, and even though we will definitely try to feed the hungry when we get the opportunity, we realize that clothes wear out and that food is short-lived. We all get hungry again only hours after we’ve eaten, and we all have to find new clothes every once in a while. But there is a Message that tells us where to eat and drink so that we will never be hungry or thirsty again. That Message is found in the story of Jesus, the Book of Hope.
After fasting for 40 days, Jesus said that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. We believe that the Message of Jesus and the love that we show the children because of this Message will have an eternal impact in lives all over Southern Africa. Kids today in Africa are faced with so many lies concerning violence, AIDS, other sexual issues, and family roles. The only way for them to understand these lies is by being exposed to truth. Father, Your word is truth.
There are many stories about how whole families have come to know Jesus by the kids taking the Book of Hope to their homes and sharing it with their families. Please pray that this will continue to happen, and that lives will be changed through this Message of life, hope, and truth as we travel to Southern Africa.
P.S. Less than 3 weeks until we leave!!
One of the main things our group will be doing in Southern Africa is distributing the Book of Hope. The Book of Hope tells the life story of Jesus in the age-specific language a child or youth can understand. It also contains important sections that concentrate on the issues most vital to the students at different age groups.
So you might be asking why we would go all the way to Africa to distribute a little book to children. Good question. First of all, for some of these kids, this book will be one of the only things that they get from someone all year. It won’t be thrown away like it might be here in America where kids have so much stuff, but it will be cherished and read and even read again. Another thing that makes this book so special is that it is the eternal, truth-filled Message of Jesus Christ! Paul, one of Jesus’ early followers, said that the Message of Jesus is the power of God for salvation. The Bible also says in Hebrews 4:12 that the Message is living and active, so overwhelming that it pierces to our soul and spirit. I mean, that’s incredible to think that the Bible, the Message of Jesus, is actually alive! It grabs us, sweeps us off our feet, takes us into places we’ve never dreamed of. And while most of us will probably come back without any of the clothes we took over, having given them all away, and even though we will definitely try to feed the hungry when we get the opportunity, we realize that clothes wear out and that food is short-lived. We all get hungry again only hours after we’ve eaten, and we all have to find new clothes every once in a while. But there is a Message that tells us where to eat and drink so that we will never be hungry or thirsty again. That Message is found in the story of Jesus, the Book of Hope.
After fasting for 40 days, Jesus said that man does not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God. We believe that the Message of Jesus and the love that we show the children because of this Message will have an eternal impact in lives all over Southern Africa. Kids today in Africa are faced with so many lies concerning violence, AIDS, other sexual issues, and family roles. The only way for them to understand these lies is by being exposed to truth. Father, Your word is truth.
There are many stories about how whole families have come to know Jesus by the kids taking the Book of Hope to their homes and sharing it with their families. Please pray that this will continue to happen, and that lives will be changed through this Message of life, hope, and truth as we travel to Southern Africa.
P.S. Less than 3 weeks until we leave!!
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Oh yes...it is the first entry
My very first blog entry. Where do I begin? I will begin by saying that I have graduated from college, written my final college paper, and now will no longer use grammatically correct statements or maybe even write in complete sentences (you might have noticed that the very first sentence has no verb). It feels pretty good to write without having to worry about it being graded.
So I have 20 more days till I head down to Ft. Lauderdale. I’ll go through a few days of training with the team I’m going with and then fly (by airplane of course) to Johannesburg, South Africa around the 26th of January. I’m becoming more and more excited as each day passes. I still have some things to do, but God is helping me out so much. I also want to thank everyone who is supporting me financially and prayerfully. I couldn’t do this without you! I’m over 2/3’s of the way to my goal in raising money, so I still have a little ways to go. But I know that it will come in as God puts it on people’s hearts to give.
So, I think that should do it for my first entry. Check back for more information on what I’ll be doing and who I’ll be going with. Peace.
So I have 20 more days till I head down to Ft. Lauderdale. I’ll go through a few days of training with the team I’m going with and then fly (by airplane of course) to Johannesburg, South Africa around the 26th of January. I’m becoming more and more excited as each day passes. I still have some things to do, but God is helping me out so much. I also want to thank everyone who is supporting me financially and prayerfully. I couldn’t do this without you! I’m over 2/3’s of the way to my goal in raising money, so I still have a little ways to go. But I know that it will come in as God puts it on people’s hearts to give.
So, I think that should do it for my first entry. Check back for more information on what I’ll be doing and who I’ll be going with. Peace.
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