i read a book in fourth grade called How to Eat Fried Worms. when i read that book, i didn't realize that this event would actually take place in my life many years later. yes, i ate worms the other night, and intestines, or something like that. good thing i learned a while back how to hold my breath, swallow, smile, and compliment the cook on the delicious food without even really tasting it.
so my training is over and my group is as ready to finally leave the base we've been staying at. we've prayed, fasted, chased giraffs, hunted wild warthog, killed wild warthog, watched wild warthog be skinned, cooked wild warthog, eaten wild warthog, laughed, cried, learned, been stretched, been confused, been overwhelmed (not only by the vastness and darkness of the world, but even more by the vastness and love of God), and prepared the best we know how. my team is heading to botswana on friday morning if everything goes as planned, which hardly ever happens in africa.
a few quick stories before i have to leave. i was talking to a few people in town the local town the other day and they said they knew our group wasnt from around here. i laughed and said, ya i know, we're americans and i apologize for being so noticably loud and insensitive. they said, no that's not it. i knew you werent from here because you looked us in the eye and smile at us. the other white people here dont do that. i then realized that though apartheid was officially done away with in 1994 in South Africa, it is still very prevalent. there is still so much separation, a little similar to the U.S. but worse. it does give us a chance, though, to sort of break down some of the barriers as most of our group is white. pray for that.
another thing, my friend nico is in our group and one of his friends comitted suicide the other day. one of the girls was trying to be empathetic by saying, ya that happened to one of my friends, too. nico said, ya, this was my 7th friend that it's happened to. wow. i hope i dont need to say more. there's a darkness here that is being pierced by light in some areas, but it is still here. people have no hope and no future. parents are dying of AIDS, 12 year old kids are leading the homes, suicide and violence rates are insane, the rich have nothing to do with the poor, racism is overwhelming. i dont even want to say more for fear of repetition which might lead to desensitization. but there is a confusion going on that can't be explained other than our enemy is not of flesh and blood. i'm a little nervous of what i have to offer the children, and the truth is that i have nothing to offer but love and truth. i find myself asking the why questions so much, but sometimes all i can ask is the what questions. what can i do or say? can i give a hug and tell a child that i love them and that there is a God that loves them and delights in them? yes, i can do that. and that's all i know to do right now.
in our presentations and dramas, we'll be focusing on tough issues such as violence, love, sex, aids, family, value, purpose. but still, how do you tell a 14 year old girl not sleep with the man at the grocery store when she has no place else to find food? i will end on this, though. i refuse to be impressed by what the enemy has done. i refuse to be frozen by his lies. i refuse to be overwhelmed by the darkness and i cling to the fact that what God is so much more impressive and mind-boggling than any sad story or statistic will ever be.
and so, i keep breathing. i keep smiling. i keep loving and praying. i keep seeking and searching. i hold on to a love that surpasses all knowledge.
kyle
p.s. things are going as good as they could ever go. God is present in our group and we are expecting Him to do amazing things through us. just wanted to say that, cause sometimes i only have time to write about the sad things and i wish i could tell everything like the time i raced a giraff, but i'll save that one for later.